Listening to the Voices in my Head

I *was* feeling somewhat better

Referring to the depression and self-loathing.  After having my session with counselor, AND the appointment and discussion with Dr N regarding my not being able to lose weight, and the solution, I was feeling optimistic, even happy.

The around comes Sunday lunch with MiL.  I didn't eat much of my noodle dish, brought most of it home in a container.  But as we were getting ready to leave, I could hear the man and his woman/partner/wife talking behind me.

"Oy, look at the size of that one. Be careful, she might sit on you."  I turn around and he and his woman are looking me up and down, laughing.  I so wanted to go up to him and say "Like YOU'RE some fucking prize.", but good manners won out and I just had Wing get me out of there as fast as I could go, because I wasn't going to let those two rude pieces of shit see me cry.

Current mood: Depressed.

The Chemical Experiment That Is My Life... a new hope.

After consulting with a doctor who knows me, knows my history, even down to my eating and exercise habits, after a blood test to see if I was diabetic (I'm not. BGLs are perfect), I have finally been diagnosed with "Acute metabolic disorder". 

The new chemical in my life is "Ozempic".  A once a week injection. Needle is ultra fine, don't even feel it going in. Stings a bit 15 minutes later, but no biggie.

The only downside of this is Medicare/PBS (Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme to my U.S. friends) doesn't cover Ozempic unless you're a diabetic.  Private health cover does cover it, but only up to X amount of dollars a year.  I shall be grateful for small favors.

Thanks, Samsung

Really... thank you. For not informing millions of Smart Watch users that you were deliberately preventing Gear 2, and other models of watches/fitness trackers, from connecting to your shiny new phone. Not because they can't connect, but because you blocked it.

AND the fun part is the only way people using these models find it is when they go to pair the watch with the new phone. 

The information is on the web, you say?  Yeah, but how do you know you have to LOOK for it until the problem arises?

And don't give me the bullshit about Gear2 being 'old tech'.  That sort of thinking is why landfills are having such a problem.

So, instead of selling my S9, I am going to use it as my own mini Samsung data hub. It will be used to record sleep, activity and everything else.

My only issue is now I won't get message notifications on my watch.

I survived the weekend

Now I get to muddle through the weekdays.  That's not to say it's going to be all bad. I have some optimism.  There are so many idiotic anti-vaxxers that keep holding super spreader event.

The kittens have grown so much. Drax is almost Loki's shoulder height. That's what Wing get for uttering the curse "He will never get as big as Loki." Groo is also packing on the ounces.  He passed pounds a few weeks ago.  They are both growing to be sweet, friendly, beautiful kitties.

I haven't been stir crazy like others have. Might have something to do with my knee not being fully functional, making walking an unpleasant past time. Filling my time watching really cheesy movies. Binge watched "The Witcher" season 2.  Also watched some thing on National Geographic channel.  And to those assholes that killed that lion pride that were in the national park/reserve, including 8 cubs, may your precious cows sicken and die.

I tried watching comedy, but the people were like automatons for me. Almost like really crappy CGI.  So, sticking to sloppy movies, that didn't even make it to cinemas.  A few of them were actually ok. Who would have thunk it?

Trump and the GQP

I hope they all rot in hell. They politicized vaccinations, wearing a mask, social distancing... everything that could have, WOULD have brought Covid to a halt.

When I hear dumb-assed rednecks threatening to bring loaded guns into school if their child has to wear a mask..
Every time I hear of someone NEEDLESSLY dying of COVID, as they were anti-vaxxers, anti maskers. Suffocating to death on a ventilator because COVID tore up their lungs. So what if they were overweight, or had diabetes. They deserved to live. But no, the GQP had to make living and dying an US vs THEM scenario. And how many did they in turn, infect and kill, before they went to the hospital in a 'Hail Mary' attempt to save their own lives?

I am, in equal portions, angry and sad.

But to Trump, his spawn, his goons, and the GQP.  FOAD!

Summer has returned, with a vengeance

Last month we had cool and cold weather. Then a day of warmish weather, then cold again.  Now we have 39 to 41c  (102 to 106f)days, and 26c (77f) nights.  The wall our bed is against is hot to the touch.  Guess it's a good thing I have to pile pillows so I am in a reclining position. They at least insulate me from the wall.

We have kept the a.c. on, set to 25c (75f) at night.

It's been so hot, that our solar water heater needed to be bled, because it was gushing water from the relief valve.  Wing managed to, under the instructions of Solarhart, to do the job. He was told if it happens again, give them a call. Luckily it's under warranty.

Trance went after Groo-bear again. She really didn't get a good grip on him, and he fought back!  He is no longer the scrawny scared kitten.

I've been staying off Facebook, as it's just not good for my mental health.  Just too many instances of "Not my circus, not my monkeys". And it's sad because it's just a few people fucking it up.  I am under enough stress in my life. I really don't need any more.

Kerhisting hell! Could they have made it more fiddly?

Setting up the MyGov, the MyGovID, and SafeWA apps on my phone.  After 8 different codes, and multiple attempts to import my COVID vax proof... ARGH! 

I would fully understand, that although the information is important, why some people would just say "Screw it!".

Yup, I was right

On November 28, 2020, I posted a rather lengthy blog entry under the title "Canon, you have some 'splainin' to do!" regarding how their new EOS R5 and its' overheating problem when recording video. I even posted link to a video where someone, with a helluva lot more money than I can spare, disassembled the R5, made a water cooling system. Fixed the overheating, but impractical.

Also in the video, he carefully removed the back, removed the ineffectual tiny heat sink, and cleaned off the old thermal paste. He fabricated a larger heat sink that and after a dab of thermal paste, put the new heat sink on, closed up the camera, and TA DA! No more overheating problems.

The reason I type all this out, is I told my hubby that I wouldn't be surprised if Canon, who claimed the EOS R5 was 'future proof' (planned obsolescence) would put out a new version nothing more than a larger heat sink to stop the overheating issue.

Hello new model Canon EOS R5 Cinema!  It's the EOS R5 without the heating problem!

To me, this makes no difference as I am a still photographer, not a videographer.  But if I was someone who bought the EOS R5 with 8K videoing in mind, only to run into the overheating wall, I would politely demand that Canon fix the flaw EOS R5 they already own.

I'm angry, and this time, anger is the right reaction

I saw Dr N this morning.  I showed him the prescriptions I have aka The Chemical Experiment That Is My Life. Had discussion regarding my not really improving even though I am busting my ass trying to get my left leg useful.

Dr N looked at my M.R.I. and said that at the very least, I should have gotten a kneecap replacement. The excuse Dr R gave me, lose some weight, is really a brush off. HE'S worried about a bad outcome. Dr R completely disregarded the fact that I had an above average, excellent outcome with my right knee replacement, and shunted me off to a pain doctor.  Why? because he thought I would fuck up his surgical record of successes.

So, their remedies are to pile more drugs on me, or tell me I'm not exercising enough.  I have sweat and chafe rashes in place I won't mention because of exercising.

Dr N said from my records, I'm doing all the right things to shed weight healthily, and something else needs to be done. Instead of plying me with more pain killers, we could start with directly injected into the joint medications. Either platelets or SynVisc.

Wish me luck.

Definitely worth watching

Just finished watching "The Tender Bar", a movie based on the memoir J.R. Moehringer.  It was a slice of life from my own childhood into young adulthood (alas, unlike J.R. even though I was accepted into UConn, I couldn't get the financial aspect of it.  Even to the point of the man who wasn't my father, but who was my dad, giving me his grey Cadillac, nicknamed "The Grey Ghost.

Child in a bar sipping on a beer mug of soda. Fine.
Child running down to the bar to get his grandpa a pack of smokes, also fine.

Yeah, so I would say this movie hit more than a few notes. It also opened up some old wounds (not about UConn, but other things). Well written, brilliantly cast and acting was excellent.

Know when to cut your losses, know when to not back down, and know how to follow that dream.