Listening to the Voices in my Head

And I had almost forgotten what it was like

I had my first appointment with Hayden The Horrible, physioterrorist. And as usual, I hurt more today than I did yesterday. He did find out, as Matt The Torturerer, and Simon The Sadist, I have a high tolerance for pain.

Got a new regimen of exercises, which I did expect. What I didn't expect was to be told to stop using any walking aids if I was walking somewhere I didn't have to worry about how fast I get from place A to place B.  This kind of scares the bejeebus out of me, because we have this HUGE wide open area in the house, where there is nowhere for me to reach out should I start losing my balance, or if my left leg folds, or an ankle decides it wants to roll again.

I have ONE lace up ankle support, but there are issues. First off, I have two ankles. Secondly, if I wear it, my shoes don't fit. I do have some of those elastic type, but they aren't comfortable for a AA heel.  Really digs in painfully after about 2 hours, maximum.

Loki is recovering faster than I am.

He had surgery on his hock/ankle. I had surgery on my knee. Two weeks later, he's walking around and the only evidence of surgery is the very short furred area that had to be shaved.

Me? 7 weeks on and I still have to use a cane around the house, and crutches.

Yes, there are some days I wish I was a cat.

And typing about Loki, I showed his histopathology report to someone. She said there were a lot of mights, maybes, could bes in it. IOWs they had no idea what the growth is. Just wait to see if it comes back.

Booked Trance for an ultrasound

Wing was on pins and needles the night before. Still was when he took her in at her 11am appointment.

Results: She's free of any other growths/tumors.  Wing pretty much sagged with relief, and said "YES!"  Now, she will go in for scans every 3 to 6 months. IOWs, as soon as her fur grows back, it had to get shaved again

And the hits just keep coming

Loki's lump was sent to pathology. Results aren't the same as the last lump. It isn't a lipoma, but soft tissue sarcoma. The vet said there was no way to get 'clean margins' as it was on his ankle.

Vet said it would grow back quickly, too.  He said the only way to make sure all the sarcoma is gone is to amputate his back leg. He's 15, almost 16 years old. I don't know if he would recover from it.

4 Cats with different types of cancer. Vets keep saying it's 'bad luck'.  My heart feels like it's breaking.

I don't know if I can go through this again

Trance and Loki both had lumps removed a week ago Saturday. Samples were sent off to pathology.

Trance has hemangiosarcoma (HSA) is a cancer that arises from malignant blood vessel cells and is an uncommon cancer in cats. It is a very aggressive cancer that spreads (metastasis) early and is associated with a poor prognosis. The underlying cause of HSA is unknown. Vet said it was just bad luck, because it's usually in dogs, not cats. And if it is in cats it usually in light furred outdoor cats, and Trance is a dark furred indoor cat.

I haven't been able to completely stop crying. First it was Ziggy, then Keito, and now Trance? Three different types of cancer, each of them 'bad luck'? I feel as if my heart is being crushed.

Better living through chemistry... again.

Dr H refilled the slow release and quick release pain killers. Last night I took the quick one after dinner, and the slow release one before going to bed.  That was the best nights' sleep I have had in a long time.. ok, in two weeks.

Got up late, after 8am, and for those who know me, that is very late. Bonus, I didn't need the Zimmer frame, was able to get around with just using the cane. Was also able to completely shower, including a shampooing and conditioner. Still had Wing waiting in the other room, just in case I got vertigo from leaning my head back under the shower head.

Only needed one quick release after breakfast. And when it took affect, I sat down in a chair and slid my left foot back until I felt tightness/discomfort. When the discomfort went away, or dropped to a tolerable level, I would move my foot back a little more. I don't have something to measure, but I'm pretty sure after doing that routine a few times, I was able to bend my knee to about 110 degrees.

I'm manipulating the incision scar. Moving it side to side, stretching it from top to bottom, in an effort to make it more pliable when the 'real' rehab starts in a few weeks.

And, I am back to sitting at my desk, with leg propped up on a footstool,  rather than a medical chair with a hospital type rolling table. The only problem is Loki, the lovable, huge, moggie wants to climb up on my, via my left leg. He doesn't understand why he can't do this right now.

Not really fun, but hey...

On July 7th, I had a total left knee replacement. The surgery went ok, but as usual, I had a bad reaction to the medication. Instead of the surgical meds, the post-op medications threw me for a loop.  It made me pass out face first into a cup of apple juice, thereby inhaling some.  Apple juice induced pneumonia! Two days of strong antibiotics set me to right.

Came home on July 13th. Brain still felt as if it had been packed in some sort of fog. Have been told this is normal.
The left leg was swollen from mid-thigh to the foot. Been told this is normal. My left foot was almost twice the size of my right foot.  Also normal. Pretty much stayed seated in bedroom, on the chair with small table, Wing and Alan keeping me company via card table and two chairs.  Gave the place less of a 'sick room' feel.

Loki has pretty much stayed by my side for the entire 3 weeks I've been home. He's discovered the 'body sized' pillow is soft and comfy, so we time share it.

I only had one mishap. My left ankle rolled, and the new knee parts slammed together. The pain was blinding, and I tried not to scream. Wasn't successful. Good news is after two days of 'babying' the leg (Alan noticed if my leg was kept aligned with my hip, there was no pain) it was back to what it had been prior to the mishap.

Home visiting nurse came over, took off the original bandage, and examined the incision. No sign of infection, was healing nicely. Put some Steri-Strips across it, and one larger water proof dressing back over it. She told me I could take it off after a week, and just let the Strips fall off as they will. As of today, I have only two left.

So, have been toddling around with a Zimmer frame, and have graduated to using a cane some parts of the day. My left foot is back to normal size. I can actually take a shower without assistance now, although I prefer to have Wing when I am going to wash my hair. I get a bit of vertigo tipping my head back. I would rather have him there just in case I start tipping over.

Called my GP today to discuss medications and refills, or resuming. Have that all straightened out now.  He said he saw no reason to play tough guy and NOT get pain relief. In actuality, if there is a lot of pain, that can slow down recovery.

So, that's everything in a nutshell.