Listening to the Voices in my Head

The Lord of the Manor has passed

Loki, my beautiful cat, has crossed the rainbow bridge. We took him to the vet this evening, in hopes that some antibiotics and pain meds would ease his discomfort for a little while longer, but alas, that wasn't meant to be.

The cancer had spread very rapidly and was now over the back of his tongue. It was only because I asked him that he ate yesterday. That was his last 'rally'. The sarcoma was not only infected by necrotic. All there would be left for Loki was slow, painful starvation. I made the decision, as much as my heart and soul screamed for me to take him home with me just for a few more days.

We were given a room. I combed him into blissful relaxation, and waved for the vet to enter when she ever so gently knocked.  The 'sleep' shot... it wasn't even halfway emptied and his head fell into my hand. I cupped it until the rest of it was injected. 

He has no more pain now, but I am shattered.  I want my imperious Lord of the Manor, on my desk, demanding to be brushed. 

If only love could actually have healed.

Trance is gone.

Vet said it looks as if she had a new hemangiosarcoma mass in her liver that ruptured, and she bled internally. We were told this might happen, and we wouldn't know until it was too late. We didn't know. And it was too late.

Photo taken two days ago.

Rest in the arms of Bast.

Booked Trance for an ultrasound

Wing was on pins and needles the night before. Still was when he took her in at her 11am appointment.

Results: She's free of any other growths/tumors.  Wing pretty much sagged with relief, and said "YES!"  Now, she will go in for scans every 3 to 6 months. IOWs, as soon as her fur grows back, it had to get shaved again

Sometimes, just the little things

I was getting ready for a shower, with Loki meowing almost non-stop. He was in a tizzy that I was going to go into the dreaded 'rain closet'. AGAIN!

So, I'm in the shower, listening to Loki's almost operatic meowing for about 5 minutes. As I was putting on my terrycloth robe, he yowled, ran up to me, and would not let me leave the bathroom until he was certain I had survived the rain closet, and that he personally 'dried off' my foot and leg. 

After I passed his inspection, I was allowed to leave the bathroom and to wander around the house. :)

I know it bites into their profits to pay out

But I'm really pissed off at PetPlan insurance right now.

Loki had bad breath. Upon exam, it turned out he had an oral infection, and ONE, just ONE of the steps to clear him of the infection was to have under the gum line near the infected areas cleaned.  He was lucky, he didn't lose any teeth. The other steps were to give him antibiotics, and to 'clean his mouth', if I could without getting bitten.. too much.

However, according to PetPlan, this wasn't a cure for an oral infection, oh no no no!  It was 'a preventative dental scaling'. 
I have sent this to them. Not that I actually expect them to do the right thing.

 

Consider this angry feedback.  I've been a client of yours for 12+ years. 

My cat, Loki had bad breath. Upon exam, it turned out he had an oral infection, and ONE, just ONE of the steps to clear him of the infection was to have under the gum line near the infected areas cleaned.  He was lucky, he didn't lose any teeth. The other steps were to give him antibiotics, and to 'clean his mouth', if I could without getting bitten.. too much.

However, according to PetPlan, this wasn't a cure for an oral infection, oh no no no!  It was 'a preventative dental scaling'.  That was your 'loophole'. You consider any and gum/teeth treatment as preventative. If it was preventative, he would have had it done without me submitting a claim, just like I did with Ziggy, and Keito, Loki and Trance over the years.  But this was a needed MEDICAL procedure to CURE an infection.

Don't bother calling me, because I know you will just give me the same excuse, that it was preventative.  And my reply is the same: If it was preventative, he wouldn't have had an oral infection.

Yesterday, I cleaned out "Ziggy's Corner".

I had been putting it off because it felt like I was erasing her. But Ziggy can never be erased, or forgotten.

I moved some of her things, and got into the corner behind the footstool. And in the corner I found at least 20 small batteries. AAs, AAAs, single use, rechargeable.

 
The little wench had been hoarding them! I laughed through the tears as I cleared out her 'treasure trove'.

Now we know why she was always with her butt in the air, on the edge of the footstool, rummaging around in the corner.

What I didn't realize how much having just that much of her history with us cleared away would hurt today.  Finding her toys, some with her fur and scent still on them.

I miss her... and I miss Keito. But I didn't know I'd miss them this much.  Maybe it's because losing two in a month to the day was a bit to take.

Silver linings aren't always great

Had the MRI on my left knee after an exam by Mr S (osteo surgeon)

My silver lining is this: if it wasn't for the lack of sensitivity/feeling in my left leg because of spinal surgery 9+ years ago and the nerve damage occurring when the disc collapsed, requiring said surgery, I would be in considerable pain.

You see, my left knee is bone on bone, with the small exception of an itty bitty piece of meniscus on the outside left of the knee. The weight bearing inside right of the knee.. it's gone.   I also have nothing but serous fluid behind my knee cap.  Yup, I need another knee replacement.

So, my 'silver lining' is preventing me from feeling pain.  Mr S said I would know when it's time.  Right now, I can get around without much of a problem. And since I am still struggling with the nerve pain, and recovery from the surgery for the compartment syndrome, I'm rather grateful for my dead-ish feeling leg.

On happy/sad news, I got a stainless steel bracelet for "Keito's Heart Pendant".   I also had his fur filled pendant engraved with a small ornate K and Ziggy's fur filled pendant engraved with an equally ornate Z.  I'm still crying about the loss of Ziggy and Keito.  Last week, I got tired of waiting for the mythical "time" to be found to help me, so dug a hole in the back yard, sprinkled some of both Keito and Ziggy's ashes in it, and planted a young rosemary shrub.  I cried my eyes out afterward.  I miss them more than I thought I would, especially Keito. 

Ziggy is home.

Brett from Lawnswood brought Ziggy home yesterday afternoon.

I’m now wearing the sealed locket containing a bit of her fur.

Also, they went a bit extra, and not only brought her home, brought some of her fur home for us, too.

Much crying has and is being done.

Ziggy is gone

At 10:17pm, September 4th, 2019, Ziggy was helped across the rainbow bridge.  She had been rallying but she took a sudden down turn, was laboring to breathe.  Took her to emergency Vet, and ultra sound showed her cancer had progressed to the point that it was only the fresh O2 feed keeping her oxygenated.  Move the O2 and she would start gasping with her mouth open again.

It was time.

We made the heartbreaking choice, while she was purring, alert and calm, to help her cross.  We all spent some time with her, and when she was given a relaxing sedative, her head drooped, and she stopped breathing. She had been breathing from sheer force of her will. When she was given the sleep shot, it took took less than 2 second for her heart to stop. She was ready. 

We gave her g’bye cuddles, whispered in her ear how much we loved her.

Heartbroken now. I see her things, like her basket, empty.  I’m going to have to do something to remove these reminders, or I will be crying every few minutes.

Keito, two plus weeks post op

He's definitely put some weight back on. He no longer has bony face/cheeks.  Also, his back doesn't feel like a stegosaurus, meaning weight gain. Called South Street Vet to postpone Keito's fructosamine test, as he was at the vet overnight a few times the past month, and his BGLs were fine.  Since we are concentrating on his having Chemo, the fructosamine test can wait.

Ziggy still has her cough, but it's not as severe.  The Bisolvon works to break up the mucus, but turns her into a very sleepy cat.  And when that happens Wing wrings his hands in worry.  Today, Ziggy has only had one coughing episode, and it was over in less than a minute.  If she has another, we will dose her with the Bisolvon, and she will end up sleeping the night through.  As long as she isn't in any discomfort, is eating, drinking, and doing other cat things, she will stay with us.  We know time is limited, but we will love her as long as she is with us.