Listening to the Voices in my Head

Saw the Occupational Therapist Friday afternoon

And was shown (painfully) how I was standing and walking incorrectly. Ian apologised for it, but I told him not to worry, because it's like telling a child something is hot, they don't believe it until they touch something hot. I wouldn't have really understood what he was referring to regarding my knee and the rest of the leg.  I have been walking with my feet turned out, and I have to school myself to keep them pointing forward.  I was also sent home with a list of exercises to do.  I did them Saturday, and my left leg is quivering in protest. Oh, and did I mention it #%$%%@ HURTS! At least it's muscular, so maybe paracetamol will help, as it doesn't help with the nerve pain in the knee joint.

Ian also advised me to wear a knee brace to keep knee stable (no side to side movement) and to keep foot pointing forward, not turned out. He was happy to hear I had a couple of DonJoy's to use.

I have to retrain my leg to not have me walking like something from a zombie movie.

I still feel like a walking Pharmaceutical Experiment. And both Ian and Dr L said yes, have to find the right combination and dosage to quell the nerve pain. 

Two weeks since cortisone harpooning.

I have noticed some improvement, although Mr S said he hoped for more.  Because he's retired from the surgical practice, he has referred me to another osteo surgeon. 

Yanno, I am not looking forward to this, to have yet another doctor presume that I must be stuffing my face with ice cream and cake, sitting on my ass doing nothing. 

Mix and match?

It's been a week since I had the cortisone injection.  The pain level from the injection itself have faded. I tried wearing one of my knee braces yesterday, but to say it was uncomfortable would be an understatement.

I tried wearing my replacement Donjoy brace. It's a bit too big, but the velcro sticks without issues and I had the stop clips to allow slight flexing, and no hyperextending.  It just didn't seem to fit right. I dug out my old one, with the velcro that is separating from fabric.  I put the stop clips from the newer brace into it and walked around. It didn't feel too bad. Leg had support, and knee didn't feel like lower leg was moving side to side.

I got out the replacement brace Hayden gave me, and adjusted the joint on it that allows a slight flexing, but no hyperextending.  Same result as using the old Donjoy brace.

Now, what I'm feeling could just be recovery from having a 3 inch harpoon jammed into a clump of very sore and swollen tendons and cartilage, but I'm just going to go with it.  I'll see about sleeping with it on for added support and healing.

Not wearing leg rig right now

When I have the brace on, and leg propped up, I get nagged by Loki, and like most cats, he using his paws (and the very tip of his claws) to get my attention. Then there's the nipping. He gets a bit 'bitey'  when he doesn't get what he wants, WHEN he wants it.  I have a myriad of little scratches between my ankle and where the bottom of the brace.

I have my leg propped up on the footstool, but if Loki starts making a pest of himself, I can, and do, push the footstool to the other side of the room.  But I can't do this if I'm wearing the brace.  But now, my knee hurts. 

Different brace is good

It goes to mid-thigh, instead of almost into the groin, to mid-calf, with one of the straps above the shelf of the calf, so it can be secured into place.

It has a lockable hinge, which has it's good point and it bad. 

The Good: It keeps my knee from bending, holding it in a straight position, not putting any strain on the injured area.  The hinges can be unlocked, allowing for easier sitting (ie in the car, or in the TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN ROOM)

The Bad: After a while, though, I get itchy under it. The "Bane of Neoprene".  And there's one spot hook end Velcro that chafes on the inside of my right leg if I don't get it on just right.  And it's very tiring to get about. Crutches, cane, they help, but still tiring.

In 9 days, I get an ultrasound guided injection in the joint. Yes, it will have some local anesthetic, but it's still gonna f**king hurt like hell going in.

Why is it everything that is wrong with me and has to be tested/treated, it's in very painful ways? 

And right now, I am a bit 'touchy'.  Anniversary of losing Mister Meow-Gi, aka Keito coming up fast.  My heart still hurts over losing him the way I did. 

I hate that scaffold, I really do.

Saw Simon the Sadist today. Remedial massage on thigh, and checked how mobile the knee is. It's like this; I can bed it 130 degrees without any issue. No pain no worry. But straightening it out made me clutch at the edges of the exam table, digging my fingers into it.

Not much can be done until I see Mr S next week. But, Simon did agree with Jace the podiatrist, that half crutches would be better to use than the cane. This way, I take pressure/weight off my right prosthetic knee and heel. Since bending my knee causes the pain, putting weight on my left leg/foot is ok.

Simon has said to wear the scaffold when I am out and about, if I have to do any walking. But at home, or short 'in and out' quick trips.

Well... shit

Saw Jase, the podiatrist. A rather wasted appointment, because until I get my knee seen to, not much can be done regarding it. 

Ah, the knee: Jase at least gave me the skinny on my knee. I have a meniscal flap tear. Loki, in a freaky accident, landed just right on my knee, making the knee cap 'shave' a flap of the meniscus, like a tongue, hanging off the meniscus. No wonder it was blindingly painful.

To see what can be done for or to it, I have to wait until I see Mr S *. Because if I have to have surgery on the knee for a temporary fix, it might be better all around to have Left Total Knee Replacement (LTKR) for a number of reasons. For one major reason, to stop the undue strain on my RTKR. Because of my left knee being so painful, I am leaning a lot of weight on my right prosthetic, speeding up wear and tear (and the need for a revision).  Another, I have asthma. Putting me under for surgery again, and again is dangerous.

I know what I would look forward to feeling and going through with a TLKR, as I have been through it with the right knee. We already have the bathroom revamped (rails in the shower, shower hop lowered, 'rehab' chair already in bedroom etc etc).

I can speculate all day, and get myself all worked up, but no decisions can be made until I see Mr S.

*Mr S,orthopedic surgeon extraordinaire, after a long career of knee/hip surgery is retiring. But he hasn't abandoned his patients, as he still is there for consultations, diagnoses, and referrals.

Not quite what I expected

I ordered another knee brace, one that is mid-thigh to mid-calf, rather than from upper thigh to ankle scaffold.  It arrived today... and it wasn't quite the one I thought/saw it would be.  Oh well, at least it is serviceable.  My only issue is I can't have both front and back of brace at 0 degrees, aka straight as a board.  At least I do have some the flexion stops to prevent most of the bending.

Will just have to be aware, and not force my knee to bed.

That didn't last long,

Less than two days. My Medical Mutiny (wearing smaller knee brace vs the upper thigh to ankle brace) is over. Knee hurts like hell, so put the scaffold back on. Keeping it totally straight, Zero degree bend is needed. (insert many swear words here) Pardon me while I go have a good cry.

I keep putting on a smiling face

But right now, I have a bit of leaking around my eyelids. 

If someone has chronic pain, and they tell you it's ok... they hurt.

If someone has chronic pain, and says it's hurt, you can bet your bottom dollar it f**king hurts like hell.

I don't like taking pain killers. They make my head fuzzy and funny.  But today, I have had enough of it. I haven't slept in 3 nights, as I have had to try to sleep with the %#$$@ thigh to ankle scaffold.

I'm exhausted, depressed, and in a lot of pain.  NOT a good combination.