Listening to the Voices in my Head

I feel as if I have been awake for days

It was an emotional day. We found out that Meloxicam is Loki's best course at this time. It will reduce the swelling of the ulcer, and kill the pain.  It's working if his wanting to be fed several times a day since being on a regular dose schedule. He's also been climbing up on me for a cuddle, which he hadn't done in weeks.

I had been holding it together since Loki's cancer diagnosis. I lost that 'tough stuff' shell yesterday. Just saying his name and the tears started. Once they started, it was really difficult to get them under control, so I didn't try. My body feel so sore. Amazing how much of your musculature is involved in crying.

That's about all. I am going to take it easy today. Not that I really have a choice. Just doing the dishes makes me want to take a nap

The shock of Loki's cancer diagnosis has passed... sort of

We can't go reading more than what is normal cat behavior as something nefarious. 

Yes, we knew at 16 years old, our time with Loki is limited, but we didn't expect the time to be so cruelly pushed forward in such a manner.  The thing is, he doesn't know he's ill. And for as long as he is not in pain, still doing all things a cat does, he will be loved and cared for.

Anyone with a pet knows that someday, that pet will break their hearts. I even said it to "Arty" (his name before he earned his name) when I first cradled him in my arms. "One day, you're going to break my heart."  Not broken yet, but there are cracks. And they hurt.

And the hits just keep coming

Jared Johnson, my original Un-Son, who was one of the most gentle, kind, selfless beings to walk the planet, passed away yesterday from esophageal cancer. Paul, my eldest son, contacted me and told me about his passing. He got to see Jared before he died, and got to talk to him. Jared was ready, he was tired.   He was only 44.  He was so selfless, and didn't want anyone to worry,  he didn't let anyone know he was ill, and right until last week was posting cute and funny things on Facebook. To say I am gutted would be an understatement.   I only have one photograph of him, and that is how I will always remember him. Human slave to cats, and a very kind and loving human being.

I will miss him forever.

Ah, dammit.

‘Benson,’ ‘Star Trek’ actor René Auberjonois has died at 79

 

Cancer sucks.

Keito, two plus weeks post op

He's definitely put some weight back on. He no longer has bony face/cheeks.  Also, his back doesn't feel like a stegosaurus, meaning weight gain. Called South Street Vet to postpone Keito's fructosamine test, as he was at the vet overnight a few times the past month, and his BGLs were fine.  Since we are concentrating on his having Chemo, the fructosamine test can wait.

Ziggy still has her cough, but it's not as severe.  The Bisolvon works to break up the mucus, but turns her into a very sleepy cat.  And when that happens Wing wrings his hands in worry.  Today, Ziggy has only had one coughing episode, and it was over in less than a minute.  If she has another, we will dose her with the Bisolvon, and she will end up sleeping the night through.  As long as she isn't in any discomfort, is eating, drinking, and doing other cat things, she will stay with us.  We know time is limited, but we will love her as long as she is with us.

Vet report on Keito

Vet report on Keito - the vet was very pleased at Keito's recovery. Not only has the surgical site healed perfectly, our moggie has put on some weight. He should be seeing how much he's been catching up on missed meals.

Regarding the diagnosis of lymphoma: There are three treatments.

We could just treat the symptoms, which would suppress them a while, and it will come raging back in 3 to 6 months.

Another option: there is a treatment for small cell lymphoma. It does work, but it's toxic. Keito doesn't have small cell lymphoma. So gave that one the flick.

Third option: It's the most used one. It has a 25% chance of cure (wishful thinking) and a 75% chance of a 1 to 3 (or longer)  year remission. The protocol is given by weight, so his low weight isn't an issue. AND because the lymphoma was caught early, gives him a damned good chance of remission. We have chosen option three. The vet said I have reasonable expectations. Sure, a cure would be great, but that is a slim chance. He said remission is very likely.

Also discussed Ziggy and her coughing. We were given the name of an OTC cough remedy that would work to break up the mucus. It's not a cure, but it will help her breathing. As long as she eats, does other cat things, and her gums are pink and her ears are pink and warm, she will stay with us.

Take another little piece of my heart out

Keito was xrayed and a mass was seen in his gut.  Surgery was scheduled immediately
He came though the surgery just fine. There was a 6cm necrotic blockage in his intestine. It had ruptured slightly, which is what caused the infection, and what was quashing his appetite. The blockage was removed, an extra 4cms from either end of the resection removed to get clean margins, and stitched back together. A swollen lymph node near the blockage was removed just to be safe.
Kidneys, liver, spleen heart, lungs, all good.  Pristine was the word the vet used.

Sent the blockage off to pathology for testing.  The results.  Keito has lymphoma. Don't know what stage it is, or how involved it is. Will be seeing vet tomorrow to discuss palliative care (low doses of presnidone ) vs chemo.

I'm gutted, because the surgical vet said he did open the mass and it didn't look like any sort of cancer he had ever seen.
First Ziggy, with lung cancer, and now Keito, Mister Meow-Gi, the Purrminator? 

Ziggy Update (and other sundries)

Ziggy seems to be holding her own.  Instead of feeding her twice a day, been giving her small meals throughout the day.  Still pinning hopes on the CBD oil arriving soon enough to be of use to her. I gave her a catnip leaf, and she enjoyed it. Got her to eat a bit more, and she's resting comfortably now on two heated wheat bags.

Keito:  he's had his course of antibiotics.  His eating is still hit and miss, meaning sometimes we have to follow him and put the dish of food in front of him to make him eat.  Have scheduled an appointment for him to have a glucose curve test, 7am tomorrow morning.

I know pets are ephemeral, and live faster than we humans, but having two ill, one with a terminal illness, at the same time, is breaking my heart.   I feel so helpless.

I've been getting intermittent shooting pains down the back of my thigh. Seeing as I had a spinal fusion, it's not sciatica.  Could be that I missed a few doses of my dystonia meds, and stress has been on the high side the past few weeks.  *sigh* 

Ziggy is back home from the vet, and the news isn't good.

She has lung cancer, more than likely already seeded from when she had mammary cancer. There is a silver lining to it because of the type it is. She isn't in any pain or distress, still eating and "Catting". She just won't have the breath to do a lot of running around, or other aerobic activities.

It will get worse, but there's no real time scale, as it took a year for it to even become noticeable. Vet said months. He said she could prove him a liar and last out another year.

EDIT: He did say this is probably the worst time of year for this, too because of the cold and damp. Well, we will make sure she stays warm and cozy.

Whatever time our girl Ziggy has, we will make it quality of life.