Listening to the Voices in my Head

Ziggy Update (and other sundries)

Ziggy seems to be holding her own.  Instead of feeding her twice a day, been giving her small meals throughout the day.  Still pinning hopes on the CBD oil arriving soon enough to be of use to her. I gave her a catnip leaf, and she enjoyed it. Got her to eat a bit more, and she's resting comfortably now on two heated wheat bags.

Keito:  he's had his course of antibiotics.  His eating is still hit and miss, meaning sometimes we have to follow him and put the dish of food in front of him to make him eat.  Have scheduled an appointment for him to have a glucose curve test, 7am tomorrow morning.

I know pets are ephemeral, and live faster than we humans, but having two ill, one with a terminal illness, at the same time, is breaking my heart.   I feel so helpless.

I've been getting intermittent shooting pains down the back of my thigh. Seeing as I had a spinal fusion, it's not sciatica.  Could be that I missed a few doses of my dystonia meds, and stress has been on the high side the past few weeks.  *sigh* 

What I learned last night:

I can't get by taking only one lorazepam a day.

Last night, after only taking 1 tablet a few days, my right my leg would not stop kicking and twitching last night. I even felt my foot wanting to 'curl' under.

Felt pins and needles in my right palm, too. Took med about midnight, some time after 1 am, issues with leg and arm stopped and I was finally able to get to sleep.

Lesson learned. One in the morning, one in the afternoon to keep hemidystonia at bay.

Thanks to the honest pharmacy person

Because of the knee replacement, my right foot and ankle have an issue with swelling. Doesn't matter how active or inactive I am, it puffs up. Doesn't hurt, but is uncomfortable, and rather unsightly. A pudgy baby foot only looks good on a baby, not an adult.
I have tried ankle support, you know, for athletes, but each one was either too tight, or too far up the leg.

So, back the thanks to the pharmacy person.  I was looking to see if an adjustable version of an ankle strap would be better, and she came up to me and asked if I needed assistance.  I explained the above paragraph, and she showed me a less expensive product, that I could cut to suit. If not getting enough compression with one layer, it could be doubled up, increasing the compression.  Well, it works at 1/4 the price.

Kudos to her.  It's small things.

Update on the dystonia/seizure issue: haven't had a full blown one for over 2 months.  Still getting the warning signs of when one starts, but now that I recognize it, I can forestall it (massaging, deep breathing)  Change up in medication is doing its job... when I remember to take it. It's already in a pill caddy, but I still forget.  Activity levels have been increasing slowly. The numbers had plummeted when the dystonia attacks happened. Every one made my body felt as if I fell down a long flight of stairs.. like the stairs in the Washington Monument.  I was barely getting 1500 steps a day, zero time on the stationary bike (even trying to get on it would start a episode), and no cooking. Can you imagine me trying to use sharp knives or boiling water when I was having between 4 to 12 seizures a day.

Getting close to the 10k mark, and over 30 minute on the bike.  I would have never thought I would be cheerful about doing laundry, cooking meals, vacuuming floors, taking care of the purr kids.

I just want to get back to the level I was when we went to Broome. Then keep improving from there.

Yesterdays session with counselor:

Difficult to put into words. I discussed somethings, and as much as D agreed with my assertiveness, my choice of homilies could be different. Part of my problem is I don't have much control over much, but what I *do* have control over, I keep getting offers of help which I don't need, but when I *do* need help, it's nowhere to be found.

Conundrum, yes?

Also, things that have become habit. Have to find a way to break some of those. I do have a quick wit, and sometimes inappropriate repartee' . (Like after I was finished doing something I did need help with, that it was KNOWN I need help with, I had someone pop into the room. I said "Fashionably late again?". *sheepish shrug*)

Also, people asking me to do things, or be there for them. I'm having a hard enough time keeping my own socks pulled up, without pulling up theirs.

I made big mistake today, though. I watched the news. Stress causes the hemidystonia seizures. Hearing that the fucking moron in the oval office has reignited the nuclear arms race by backing out of the Non Proliferation Treaty Pres Reagan signed with Russia... my right leg and arm started twitching. I turned it off right away, but the information is still in my brain. Is that orange reject from a circus trying to get everyone killed?