Listening to the Voices in my Head

Bleh

Because of IINETs' shoddy handling of unloading email service, and then with almost no notice, deleted the websites. Why? because their corporate monkeys have decided websites and email has nothing to do with the internet(?)

Regardless, I managed to get the website downloaded. Good thing, too, because my custom mood icons for LiveJournal were being hosted on our IINET website, and I downloaded them.  Then came the fun part of uploading them to another place, and then correcting all 135 links. GAH! It's done.

Had exercise therapy today. Most of the time was on the reformer/pilates machine, under expert supervision. Way back in 2006 when I have a calcified disk collapse, it damaged the nerves in my left leg. It's left some of the muscles flaccid. So, using the reformer 'forces' those flaccid muscles to work. My right leg has an ache in it, but the left leg is only a bit wobbly. No pain in left leg is my silver lining.

Shoe's on the other foot

So to type.

Alan had to have a double hernia repaired. Wing and I have been doing what's needed to take care of him. I have to admit, I am knackered. Had to change his surgical dressings. Ugh. At least the incisions are looking good. But standing at a 45 degree angle to carefully remove and replace 5 dressings was a bit problematical for my back.

Parcel arrived from Amazon. I got a laugh out of "This box is made of less material", when there was another box inside of it. At least the item I ordered was actually in the inner box.  If I had opened yet another box, would have thought I was in an episode of Doctor Who?.

The Endoscopy was clear

No scarring, not signs of any growths or other abnormalities.  But the I had one helluva surprise a few weeks later.

I started having chest pains. Just a little, then it got worse and worse. I ended up taking an ambulance ride to the hospital emergency. 

After many blood tests, ECG tracings, some really painful poking  seriously painful prodding, a sublingual Nitro-glycerine spray and a crashing headache afterward, and 7 hours later, with blood draws showing no troponin, the diagnosis was GERD,aka Gastro-esophageal reflux disease, and it mimics a heart attack perfectly.

I have new medication to take (generic Aussie version of Prilosec) One a day. And a bottle of Gaviscon, but they didn't have any Mylanta. At least the Gaviscon liquid is an 'as needed'.

On a funny note: While I was in the corridor, on the ambulance stretcher. I kept seeing a doctor come in, look around, and leave. She did this 4 times. Then she asked Dean, the ambulance attendant, where is "Mrs Chung?"  He pointed at me.  She had been looking for a woman of Asian descent. I chuckled, because it never gets old.

I'm going to be ok. But that is how 2023 ended, and one of the many reason I saw 2023 sucked big time.

Pardon me if this post is a tad rambling

Or sort of incoherent.

Three days ago, my left calf, and behind my knee, and hamstring, and my annoying fused back started hurting a lot. I wasn't worried, because I had an upcoming visit with the physio, "Simon The Sadist" for a session.

To say my physio session rushed would be an understatement.  Yes, they were trying to clear up all clients before the up coming long holiday, and he, personally, was taking some time off. Good for him, but I felt I had been given the bums' rush. And I was charged $61 for the privilege.

Today, when I got up, I was in worse shape than I was BEFORE session. Tried to do some of my rehab exercises, and for all my efforts, I almost fell over, my knee kept giving out. I left comment on the "PhyApp" regarding it.. before I took something for the pain. Meds I haven't had to use October last year.

Yes, I hurt that f*cking much. With better living through (legal) chemistry, the acute pain is now just a dull ache. I can deal with that.

Due to early intervention with marvellous anti-virals

The worst of COVID-19 has passed in a week. The worst it got with me was an upper respiratory issue. I got a set of sore ribs, and sore abdomen from the coughing, but now, other than that first 'icky' cough in the morning, I'm feeling mostly well.

I get tired easily, and am noticeably short of breath, have a bit of 'brain fog', but well enough to be discharged from the WA Covid care nurse daily call. I'm still self-isolating, even from Alan and Wing.

I caught Covid, but because I was double vaxxed, and had boosters, it was no where as bad as it could be. I really feel sorry for people that didn't have them and got sick. I remember watching videos of anti-vaxxers begging their family and friends to get vaccinated after they caught it. I'm not one of them, and I am grateful and relieved.

And I had almost forgotten what it was like

I had my first appointment with Hayden The Horrible, physioterrorist. And as usual, I hurt more today than I did yesterday. He did find out, as Matt The Torturerer, and Simon The Sadist, I have a high tolerance for pain.

Got a new regimen of exercises, which I did expect. What I didn't expect was to be told to stop using any walking aids if I was walking somewhere I didn't have to worry about how fast I get from place A to place B.  This kind of scares the bejeebus out of me, because we have this HUGE wide open area in the house, where there is nowhere for me to reach out should I start losing my balance, or if my left leg folds, or an ankle decides it wants to roll again.

I have ONE lace up ankle support, but there are issues. First off, I have two ankles. Secondly, if I wear it, my shoes don't fit. I do have some of those elastic type, but they aren't comfortable for a AA heel.  Really digs in painfully after about 2 hours, maximum.

Loki is recovering faster than I am.

He had surgery on his hock/ankle. I had surgery on my knee. Two weeks later, he's walking around and the only evidence of surgery is the very short furred area that had to be shaved.

Me? 7 weeks on and I still have to use a cane around the house, and crutches.

Yes, there are some days I wish I was a cat.

And typing about Loki, I showed his histopathology report to someone. She said there were a lot of mights, maybes, could bes in it. IOWs they had no idea what the growth is. Just wait to see if it comes back.

Booked Trance for an ultrasound

Wing was on pins and needles the night before. Still was when he took her in at her 11am appointment.

Results: She's free of any other growths/tumors.  Wing pretty much sagged with relief, and said "YES!"  Now, she will go in for scans every 3 to 6 months. IOWs, as soon as her fur grows back, it had to get shaved again

And the hits just keep coming

Loki's lump was sent to pathology. Results aren't the same as the last lump. It isn't a lipoma, but soft tissue sarcoma. The vet said there was no way to get 'clean margins' as it was on his ankle.

Vet said it would grow back quickly, too.  He said the only way to make sure all the sarcoma is gone is to amputate his back leg. He's 15, almost 16 years old. I don't know if he would recover from it.

4 Cats with different types of cancer. Vets keep saying it's 'bad luck'.  My heart feels like it's breaking.

I don't know if I can go through this again

Trance and Loki both had lumps removed a week ago Saturday. Samples were sent off to pathology.

Trance has hemangiosarcoma (HSA) is a cancer that arises from malignant blood vessel cells and is an uncommon cancer in cats. It is a very aggressive cancer that spreads (metastasis) early and is associated with a poor prognosis. The underlying cause of HSA is unknown. Vet said it was just bad luck, because it's usually in dogs, not cats. And if it is in cats it usually in light furred outdoor cats, and Trance is a dark furred indoor cat.

I haven't been able to completely stop crying. First it was Ziggy, then Keito, and now Trance? Three different types of cancer, each of them 'bad luck'? I feel as if my heart is being crushed.