Listening to the Voices in my Head

Keito is home

I've placed the toy mice he would hoard, and the laser pointer that gave him so many hours of play time trying to catch the red bug next to his urn.  My heart is both breaking and numb at the same time. 

RIP Keito

Keito, my 'babykitty', who I have had since he was 5 weeks old, is gone. We helped him cross the rainbow bridge at 11:38pm, October 5, 2019.

This morning is the first time I haven't greeted by him. I wasn't followed into the bathroom, my glasses ear pieces weren't snogged and chewed on, my fingers weren't licked and nibbled on, and my jewelry/watch cheek rubbed on.  I miss his sound, his silky soft fur, and his calm loving personality.

He was mine and I was his.  I feel as if I've had a limb removed, or a big chunk of my heart.  I think part of me has died inside as well.

Ziggy is gone

At 10:17pm, September 4th, 2019, Ziggy was helped across the rainbow bridge.  She had been rallying but she took a sudden down turn, was laboring to breathe.  Took her to emergency Vet, and ultra sound showed her cancer had progressed to the point that it was only the fresh O2 feed keeping her oxygenated.  Move the O2 and she would start gasping with her mouth open again.

It was time.

We made the heartbreaking choice, while she was purring, alert and calm, to help her cross.  We all spent some time with her, and when she was given a relaxing sedative, her head drooped, and she stopped breathing. She had been breathing from sheer force of her will. When she was given the sleep shot, it took took less than 2 second for her heart to stop. She was ready. 

We gave her g’bye cuddles, whispered in her ear how much we loved her.

Heartbroken now. I see her things, like her basket, empty.  I’m going to have to do something to remove these reminders, or I will be crying every few minutes.

Keito, two plus weeks post op

He's definitely put some weight back on. He no longer has bony face/cheeks.  Also, his back doesn't feel like a stegosaurus, meaning weight gain. Called South Street Vet to postpone Keito's fructosamine test, as he was at the vet overnight a few times the past month, and his BGLs were fine.  Since we are concentrating on his having Chemo, the fructosamine test can wait.

Ziggy still has her cough, but it's not as severe.  The Bisolvon works to break up the mucus, but turns her into a very sleepy cat.  And when that happens Wing wrings his hands in worry.  Today, Ziggy has only had one coughing episode, and it was over in less than a minute.  If she has another, we will dose her with the Bisolvon, and she will end up sleeping the night through.  As long as she isn't in any discomfort, is eating, drinking, and doing other cat things, she will stay with us.  We know time is limited, but we will love her as long as she is with us.

Vet report on Keito

Vet report on Keito - the vet was very pleased at Keito's recovery. Not only has the surgical site healed perfectly, our moggie has put on some weight. He should be seeing how much he's been catching up on missed meals.

Regarding the diagnosis of lymphoma: There are three treatments.

We could just treat the symptoms, which would suppress them a while, and it will come raging back in 3 to 6 months.

Another option: there is a treatment for small cell lymphoma. It does work, but it's toxic. Keito doesn't have small cell lymphoma. So gave that one the flick.

Third option: It's the most used one. It has a 25% chance of cure (wishful thinking) and a 75% chance of a 1 to 3 (or longer)  year remission. The protocol is given by weight, so his low weight isn't an issue. AND because the lymphoma was caught early, gives him a damned good chance of remission. We have chosen option three. The vet said I have reasonable expectations. Sure, a cure would be great, but that is a slim chance. He said remission is very likely.

Also discussed Ziggy and her coughing. We were given the name of an OTC cough remedy that would work to break up the mucus. It's not a cure, but it will help her breathing. As long as she eats, does other cat things, and her gums are pink and her ears are pink and warm, she will stay with us.

Ziggy is back home from the vet, and the news isn't good.

She has lung cancer, more than likely already seeded from when she had mammary cancer. There is a silver lining to it because of the type it is. She isn't in any pain or distress, still eating and "Catting". She just won't have the breath to do a lot of running around, or other aerobic activities.

It will get worse, but there's no real time scale, as it took a year for it to even become noticeable. Vet said months. He said she could prove him a liar and last out another year.

EDIT: He did say this is probably the worst time of year for this, too because of the cold and damp. Well, we will make sure she stays warm and cozy.

Whatever time our girl Ziggy has, we will make it quality of life.

No stiff upper lip here.

Our girl Ziggy is at the vet, where she will get xrays first thing in the morning.  The vet is concerned that the cancer she had last year, has metastasized.  It was something we were told could happen.

Regardless of the results tomorrow, we will do what is best for Ziggy. We gave her an extra year by treating the cancer last year. I'm a blubbering mess right now.