Listening to the Voices in my Head

Pardon me if this post is a tad rambling

Or sort of incoherent.

Three days ago, my left calf, and behind my knee, and hamstring, and my annoying fused back started hurting a lot. I wasn't worried, because I had an upcoming visit with the physio, "Simon The Sadist" for a session.

To say my physio session rushed would be an understatement.  Yes, they were trying to clear up all clients before the up coming long holiday, and he, personally, was taking some time off. Good for him, but I felt I had been given the bums' rush. And I was charged $61 for the privilege.

Today, when I got up, I was in worse shape than I was BEFORE session. Tried to do some of my rehab exercises, and for all my efforts, I almost fell over, my knee kept giving out. I left comment on the "PhyApp" regarding it.. before I took something for the pain. Meds I haven't had to use October last year.

Yes, I hurt that f*cking much. With better living through (legal) chemistry, the acute pain is now just a dull ache. I can deal with that.

Another day, another list of aches and pains

Simon the Sadist altered the list of rehab exercises.  I do try to them all every day, but some days are harder than others.  This morning on the stationary bike, I had about 4 rotations of the pedals where the tendons felt as if they were being scraped across jagged rocks.  (#6 on the scale from 1 to 10). I didn't stop, I kept going because I had to. The pain faded, and I managed the full 10 minutes. 

On an aside, I have found two perfect songs for a 10 minute ride. Both are Moody Blues songs. "Nights in White Satin" and "Question".

And in other news, I have decided to become a dual citizen. U.S./Australia.  With the anger in the world today, I don't want to travel on a U.S. passport, even though I have an Australian visa. I am not giving up my U.S. citizenship, but I don't want to be 'stuck' . The good news is because I am an 'old fart', I won't have to sit the Citizenship test, just an interview.

There's physiotherapy

And there is household chores.  Both leave you achey, stiff and sore. From the neck down. But with cleaning up the house, scrubbing, washing, sweeping, you can see progress.

Trying to bridge using my left leg only not only hurts like hell, I can't DO it. Ever since the calcified disc collapsed, and I had a spinal fusion, my left leg has been weak. I can push 120kgs on the leg press with both legs, or with the right leg alone. 25kgs and my knee is stuck on my chest.  If this wasn't the case, I wouldn't have a whole bunch of unused dancing gear.

But, you know something? I feel bad if I let the physiotherapist down.

Taking bets (virtual ones)

Husband and son set up my physio table last night.  So, today, I did the 'bridging' exercise, the lay on back and pull heel as close to the butt as you can, and the cross legs at the ankles, keeping the surgical leg in the back (the left one in this case) and using the right foot to assist, bend the left leg as far back as you can (to discomfort). 

Got done with that, and used the washing machine for balance, slowly shifted weight from the right foot, to the left, and lifting the right foot off the floor, until at least 90% of the weight is on the left foot.  Repeat, but going the other way, from left to right.

Here's where the virtual betting comes in.  Will I:

A: Hop out of bed, ready to start a new day.

B: Groan, and using right heel on side of bed, haul my self to sitting position, kind of glad it's a new day.

C: Groan, try to move, and realize my legs, glutes and abdomen wish it was yesterday, and just stay in bed.

8 weeks post-op

Had session with Hayden the Horrible. I told him I'd had a session with Matt the Torturer five years ago on my right knee, and it lamed me for the better part of the week.  He wanted to know when. (sardonic laugh)

I searched through my blog last night, using different tag. And hurray, I found the exact date. Since I don't have his exact email address at SporTreat, I sent it in as a general message, asking it to be forwarded to Hayden.

Session was good, but as usual, my left leg is really complaining a lot. Got a bit of swelling around the knee. Regardless of that, I did get some good news. Hayden said that he can tell I've 'put the work in' about home exercises and walking. And it shows that I am on the right side of the bell curve, but he won't tell me what it is, because he thinks I'll go "Good enough." and discontinue the exercising/rehab on the leg.

He needs to talk to Matt, or Meg The Merciless.  I don't just up and quit just because something is going right.  If anything, it increases my determination to do what needs to be done, be damned about temporary discomfort. He's sorta new, but after a few more weeks, he will see I am up for challenges to get my leg strong.

And I had almost forgotten what it was like

I had my first appointment with Hayden The Horrible, physioterrorist. And as usual, I hurt more today than I did yesterday. He did find out, as Matt The Torturerer, and Simon The Sadist, I have a high tolerance for pain.

Got a new regimen of exercises, which I did expect. What I didn't expect was to be told to stop using any walking aids if I was walking somewhere I didn't have to worry about how fast I get from place A to place B.  This kind of scares the bejeebus out of me, because we have this HUGE wide open area in the house, where there is nowhere for me to reach out should I start losing my balance, or if my left leg folds, or an ankle decides it wants to roll again.

I have ONE lace up ankle support, but there are issues. First off, I have two ankles. Secondly, if I wear it, my shoes don't fit. I do have some of those elastic type, but they aren't comfortable for a AA heel.  Really digs in painfully after about 2 hours, maximum.

YAY! It's *not* all in my head.

I had a very exacting and precise examination of my left knee, and its surrounds. Here is the prognosis:

S***** has had an MRI scan and orthopaedic review, with the opinion that no surgery is indicated. There are medial meniscal changes as well as knee OA and some signs of anterior knee oedema following her injury on her MRI. She had a local knee cortisone injection which she reports flared her knee for three weeks and provided no overall benefit.

S***** remains very limited in her walking capacity, requiring a walking stick even for short distances. She reports prior to her injury, she was increasing exercise under supervision, losing weight and walking on uneven surfaces without difficulty. *

**** has a combination of local underlying knee pain as well as signs of increased pain sensitisation (including localised sharp hyperalgesia). Her knee strength is mainly limited by pain inhibition. Her antalgic gait is likely also impacting on her recent increase in low back pain.

Got the crutches (uhh yay?) and have been told to use them when walking around outside of the house. Fun fun. Now, I will wait until I hear from Meg The Merciless as to how we shall proceed. And in the meantime, find a pool somewhere, as swimming was one of the recommended things to do.

I hate that scaffold, I really do.

Saw Simon the Sadist today. Remedial massage on thigh, and checked how mobile the knee is. It's like this; I can bed it 130 degrees without any issue. No pain no worry. But straightening it out made me clutch at the edges of the exam table, digging my fingers into it.

Not much can be done until I see Mr S next week. But, Simon did agree with Jace the podiatrist, that half crutches would be better to use than the cane. This way, I take pressure/weight off my right prosthetic knee and heel. Since bending my knee causes the pain, putting weight on my left leg/foot is ok.

Simon has said to wear the scaffold when I am out and about, if I have to do any walking. But at home, or short 'in and out' quick trips.

And again....

Seems when I had the vertically fractured molar remove, the dentist missed a sliver, and it's been currently poking out through my gums. It's sharp, and because of the feeling of something that shouldn't be there, I have taken to putting gauze over it, to stop my tongue from worrying at it.
What I didn't know is that after a while, wet gauze is very abrasive, and is making my gums tender.  Called the dentist last Friday, and will be going in to have it seen to tomorrow morning. *sigh*
Oh, did I mention that on top of enthesopathy , my hip starting hurting. Not the joint, that's fine. Physio that is doing the shockwave treatment on my heel thinks it could be bursitis.  Oh joy.

Part one done

Saw "Meg the Motivator" (afterward, at home, I call her Meg the Merciless!).  Because my heel was taped up in such a fashion, there was no pain, so I sort of overdid it on the weekend and again on Monday. 

No mercy!  Well, a little bit. Was on treadmill for 20 minutes, but a a slightly slower pace than I usually do.  Then off to the "Reformer" (aka pilates machine)  I used to snicker about those things, but I don't any longer! It keeps the spine and hips in proper alignment, so when you do the actions/exercises, it's equal, and helps correct poor posture. Mine poor posture is due to years of a bad disc, and it's subsequent collapse, and having a bad knee.  The realignment isn't fun, or easy, but necessary.

Exhausted, but have to see Dr H, my GP, about getting my anti-seizure meds prescription.  He only gives me two months worth, because of the law.  It's deemed a 'controlled' medication.  Me, I call it the "Three little white tablets a day that keep my body from trying to painfully fold into sharp geometric shapes.  No nap, not yet.